


Do it for Shiro

by 0ya_script4



Series: Voltron: Legendary Writing Prompts [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Asexual Character, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Marine Corps, Multi, One-Shot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Potential trigger warning, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Shiro is your man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 13:09:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10967919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0ya_script4/pseuds/0ya_script4
Summary: You two had been together since Pre-K. You’ve lived down the road from each other ever since you were born. His parent’s and your parents were best friends and in turn that had you two meet each other. He protected you no matter what it was. He was your knight. He protected you against bullying, he protected you against potential lovers, he protected you against yourself. He was always right by your side.





	Do it for Shiro

You felt useless, but that was nothing new. You felt like an utter pain, and that no matter how much laughter you put into his life, in the end, he’d be crying and screaming at night. The wars had messed him up that badly.

You two had been together since Pre-K. You’ve lived down the road from each other ever since you were born. His parent’s and your parents were best friends and in turn that had you two meet each other. He protected you no matter what it was. He was your knight. He protected you against bullying, he protected you against potential lovers, he protected you against yourself. He was always right by your side. But through all your problems, through all your anxiety and depression he seemed to be the worse one.

When you two were in High school that’s when he confessed. That’s when you two started dating. That’s when everything changed.

It was a  _ good _ change...right?

Shiro knew you weren’t one for physical contact, you didn’t care that much for kissing, and hand holding was only if you were feeling really affectionate. He knew that, and yet he still wanted to date you. He even joked a few times about marriage. And when it came to Senior year, on graduation night at the party at his house, he got down on one knee and asked you in front of both your parents and siblings. You were ecstatic. You were overjoyed.

The wedding was all planned by your mutual friend Lance. Well, Lance and Hunk. They graduated two years after you two but they insisted that two high school Sophomores were more than apt to plan a wedding.

They weren’t.

Instead, you contacted Hunk’s parents, who had their own official planning company and went through them.

It took months of planning, and during those months you got a steady job as a hostess/ waitress at a local hot spot and Shiro went behind your back to sign up for the Marines.

A week and a half before your wedding Shiro came to you in tears. He came towards you nervous as hell and sputtering nonsense. You wanted to ask him what was wrong, but when you spotted the government stamped envelope you had a sinking feeling you knew exactly what it was.

“When do you go?”

“In a month…”

That’s the first real fight you two had.

You were furious and had every right to be. Instead of kicking him out of his own home (which you were crashing at for a few days because your apartment was being debugged) you smiled and told him that you were going to go vent to your fathers. Which wasn’t a lie? You walked seven miles at 5 p.m. and made it to your home at 10 p.m. knocking at your own home door realizing that you brought nothing with you.

You cried for the longest time that night.

This was the one thing you didn’t want. You knew that you could hardly handle your own PTSD with your own anxiety and depression, you didn’t know how to be there for yourself and Shiro deserves someone who can be there for him. If he comes back from a battle and he looses it, you knew that it would be close to impossible to comfort him and that ruined you. You cried in your father’s arms. You wept in your own home, concerning your younger siblings.

This was not what you wanted.

What you wanted was selfish, and you knew that it couldn’t be just for you. You knew that Shiro had some stuff already under his belt with his younger brother running away and never returning, you knew he blamed his older sister's suicide on himself, and you knew that whenever he came home to you crying and having a panic attack that he worried hours after if you were alright. You loved that he cared for you even after all he’s been through. But your heart couldn’t take doing the same for him. You might know what he’s going through…. But you don’t know, at the same time.

  
  


You didn’t end up having the wedding. Telling Shiro everything that you vented to your father, you both decided to break off the relationship. You still loved him, but you knew that you could not be there for him like he needed you to be.

* * *

 

_ “The stars are quite beautiful tonight, aren’t they?” _

_ “Yeah, they really bring out your eyes,” _

_ “Shiro, I’m being serious right now…” _

_ “I am too… can I hold your hand?” _

You laughed at the memory. Shiro always asked to hold your hand. He made sure he had your full consent before he did  **anything** .

The day Shiro left for Afghanistan was the hardest. You allowed him to hug you (and to tell the truth, you’ve never hugged back so hard). You told him to come home safe and come home soon. He promised to write letters as much as possible, but you knew that wouldn’t be often.

Your heart was torn out when he came home. He didn’t come home of his free will. He came home a year later, with one less arm, a scar clean across the bridge of his nose, and his hair had turned white.

When you were in the hospital waiting for the doctors to clean everything and make sure that he was alright, the Sergeant that brought him home confessed that he had been held hostage for half a year. They have no idea what happened to him. They have no idea how to help him.

As a  _ friend _ , you were there for Shiro. You told work what had perspired and they allowed a month off. You took every second to go see Shiro, talk to Shiro, try and make him laugh.

But he wasn’t the same.

This is exactly what you were afraid of.

* * *

 

“Shiro, you know I love you right?”

“Of course I know, that’s why I know that you’re doing this out of love.”

“I feel like I’m leaving you because I’m weak…”

“You’re not weak. You are the strongest person I know. I understand why you want to break up, I understand why you’re giving me the ring back.”

* * *

 

Shiro was nice when he left and shut in when he returned. It was like you were expecting him to come back the same. Copy and paste. Nothing different.

But that’s not what happened.

The fifth night of being in the hospital is when it started. He was screaming inaudible words, panicking, sweating. You called the nurse, knowing that he was having a night terror but also knowing that there can be nothing done about having a night terror. The many you’ve had taught you that.

That night you met the other Shiro. It was as if his eyes glowed yellow as he jumped out of the bed and onto you. Strangeling you and shouting:

“It’s all your fault! Why did you leave me?? I loved you! You broke my heart! I was doing it for you!!”

Tears fell down his murderous eyes as his one hand gripped hard, and his knee pinned one hand down to the tiles. You’d never seen Shiro angry, you’ve never had a reason to see him angry. But this... This was on a whole other level.

Thankfully the nurses got him off of you and back into his bed. They had to chain him to his bed, with cushioned cuffs. When Shiro came to he commented on your neck, but you did not have the heart to tell him that it was him that did it to you. Instead, you made up something off the top of your head that made no sense.

Shiro pretended to buy it.

A year passed after Shiro returned, his “normal” self began to resurface slowly… or he was just getting good at pretending.

Shiro asked you to give him another chance. He almost begged you.

Your people-pleasing self decided to give it another shot, even though you felt deep in your heart it wouldn’t work. 

You got married to Shiro 3 months later.

You did not consummate your marriage and he seemed alright with that. But, you did almost die on your wedding night.

He got physical in his sleep. He had had you pinned to the bed and was ready to kill you with his hidden gun. Gladly your calming voice brought him back. When he realized what was going on he was horrified what he had done. He was mortified that he’d do such a thing.

This was when you started to get physical. It made you uncomfortable, it made you want to throw up and curl into a ball of utter despair and deprivation. You wanted nothing to do with physical anything. **But Shiro needed a physical love.**

You held him, kissed him, and even had sex with him because he needed the physical aspect. You knew, even though he’d never ask for it himself. He was too kind to ask such a thing.

His terrors only got worse, so you contacted the Marines and they set him up with a well-known counselor named Sendak Jones. This did not help. Shiro got angrier, short tempered, and cruel. He was so pissed all the time. His fuse was so short. You decided that the counselor was not helping and moved him onto another one named Slav Smith. Slav seemed to help Shiro, he challenged Shiro during the sessions but when he was out he was making improvements.

After 5 years of being married, you finally had earned enough money to get Shiro a prosthetic for his arm. You were finally able to help him. When you confronted him about it... he lost it. He thought you didn’t like him this way, he thought that you hated how he looked, that you were just trying to fix him because he was so obviously broken. You tried to tell him that you were only doing this for him…. But he didn’t listen.

He only got angrier.

Shiro wasn’t the same anymore.

You still loved him.

You still woke up and took care of him.

You hid your bruises, burns, cuts, and hospital bills from him and your family.

All you wanted was for Shiro to return. All you wanted was for him to realize the fear he had instilled in you with those glowing yellow demonic eyes. All you wanted was for him to come back for you.

So you decided, a long time ago, that you would stay around. You would stick with him, you would comfort, coddle, and drop everything for Shiro.

Shiro was worth it, he was worth the pain, worth the hurt, worth everything. So you decided to stick by his side. You had to do it. It wasn’t right to leave him a second time. You decided to do it. 

Do it for Shiro.


End file.
